I have been in this hole lately. It happened before and I have a feeling it will happen again but I am almost back on the road again. And when I am in this hole, I can't get myself to do anything really. I just sit around and frustrated eat things that I probably shouldn't eat. I think too much during that time in the hole and my emotions sometimes burst out. It can be freeing to let go of swallowed pain from the past but it can also be super overwhelming and awful. Yet I have always found my way back. Again and again and again.
Thinking about the past and feeling or realizing things that I didn't notice then is a powerful thing. But I can end up in self-doubt and feeling miserable about my actions and reactions Then. Instead of living in the Now, I find myself trapped in the past more than I enjoy it. And even though I would rather still live back in the "good old days" I know it isn't too healthy and I should concentrate on the right here.
12.07.2020
During the past month I managed to get out of that hole again and went to visit my family. Almost weeks ago I came here and yesterday was one of the most beautiful days I have had in a while :) tomorrow I am heading to my favourite vacation places, a German Island called "Rügen". We went there every year ever since I was born. And well I probably only skipped 2 or three times but 20 years is still two decades so when I say it's an amazing place for family vacay, you can doubtless believe me. Even though I am only heading there for a few days I am super excited and I can't wait to get there. What I want to do is bicycle touring the old route we used to take during the past (twenty) years. I also just want to lay at the beach and enjoy the sound of my favourite sea, the baltic sea.
I hope y'all have a great summer and maybe the sun comes out more often for you guys :) stay save and take care folks.
I see you on the other side peeps!
Lots of 💜
Laurie